People who struggle with addiction commonly struggle with lying, due to the way that drugs and alcohol alter brain chemistry. In an effort to protect their ability to use at all costs, the result of an altered midbrain and reward system, lying becomes a strategy of survival. Unfortunately, lying fractures relationships with friends and family, in some cases irreparably.
After going through treatment and beginning to live lives in recovery, it’s extremely common for loved ones to be skeptical about the words and actions of their loved one in recovery for the first year or more. This experience can be frustrating and hurtful for loved ones in recovery who are relentlessly working at redemption.
Earning trust takes time, and it may take a very long time even. It is possible to start rebuilding lost trust and repairing damaged relationship. Below are five ways to start that process today:
Be consistent – It can take a month, a year, or even a decade for someone to decide to place their trust in you again. Be consistent with your words and actions, and understand that you don’t get to decide when they should trust you again. Work hard and prove that you’re wanting them and their trust back in your life.
Don’t over/under commit – Your word is your bond. It can be more valuable than money, and you should place that value in what you say. Don’t be afraid of taking on commitments and working to build a routine because of your past choices. On the contrary, don’t say you can do something if you can’t do it.
Do what’s right – In everything you do, always strive to do the right thing. Pick up a piece of litter on the sidewalk, be kind to the people around you, stand up for the weak. This will impact every aspect of your life the more that you do it, and it shows the people around you that you’re consistently trying to do the right thing.
Focus on yourself – Buying flowers, writing letters and doing tasks to try and apologize after lying can be helpful, but the lying started inside. If you’re not in the right state of mind, you’ll often only do more damage to a relationship. Know when to work on yourself, and when you can approach your loved one again.
Families can heal after addiction. We see families come to The Springboard Center broken and desperate for help. Throughout our five week program, families rebuild relationships, create strategies for sobriety, and heal together. If you or a loved one are struggling with addiction, call us today for information on our programs serving the Permian Basin: (432) 620-0255