Sobriety does not come with a nice handbook on how to do it well. People with addiction struggle because it is an individual challenge that requires hard work and dedication. They are not used to setting boundaries, especially when those boundaries involve behaviors that have been reinforced for years. Learning how to set boundaries in recovery is a life skill that takes work to build and grow for the journey ahead.
Push Past Fear
Addiction can fuel many fear-based behavioral patterns and other dysfunctional interactions in families, including the need to control others, perfectionism, and being resentful. The first step needs to be focusing on interactions and communications with one another. Finding a way to push past fear is important because it helps to continue the growth journey of recovery and supports the setting of healthy boundaries.
What Are Boundaries
Personal boundaries are emotional or physical limits set so that people have a safeguard for how to behave. This includes:
- Healthy boundaries around defining who they are to ensure relationships as safe, supportive, and respectful
- Unhealthy boundaries are thoughts or behaviors used as a means to manipulate or control relationships
Why it Matters
Personal boundaries are based on values and needs, giving us space to express who we are and what is important to us. They provide personal guidelines for communicating to others how we operate and what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable to us.
Examples of Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are necessary in abusive situations or where violence is present. In relationships where addiction is present, boundaries are critical for everyone to be healthy. The first step for dealing with boundary setting should start with:
- Asking yourself what the motive is for setting this boundary
- Getting in touch with personal feelings about how certain situations feel with people in your life.
- Recognize motives for establishing clear boundaries as a way to notice early warning signs
- Clearly communicate needs in a way everyone understands
- Talk about feelings and share personal needs
- Use “I” statements and stay away from defensive postures
The goal of setting boundaries with people is to not let them walk all over you. With addiction, it is easy to let things slide because that is how it has been for a very long time. Coming from a place of self-care, you will be better able to acknowledge the reaction, rather than try to fix it, when you set clear boundaries.
The Springboard Center’s addiction treatment programs are tailored to meet the needs of each client. By utilizing a set of diverse methods of addiction treatment, we are able to deal with your addiction from all angles and concentrate on every aspect of your healing process. It is important to recognize that many of our services offer a group setting and environment, so that the client spends time with other people affected by the same chronic disease and problems. 432-620-0255